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Partial Molar X 2

I had my 1st partial molar pregnancy in June 2005. At 11weeks, I began bleeding very heavily and passing large pieces of tissue. I was admitted to hospital, a horrendous undignified experience. A month later, my consultant told me the diagnosis. He had little knowledge of the condition, and swiftly sent me away with a leaflet and a referral to Sheffield. I began 12 months of urine/blood testing. Fortunately, my hcg was normal after 3 months. The experience, however, left me very distressed and on anti-depressants for 18 months. A great GP, the support of my family, love of my husband, and my adorable little son saw me through.

Then, we decided to try again. I discovered I was pregnant at Easter 2007. I was very anxious. I was scanned at 6 weeks and was overjoyed to see a tiny ‘blob’ with a fluttering heartbeat. I knew there was always the possibility of a ‘normal’ miscarriage (as with any pregnancy), but it couldn’t be Molar Pregnancy .

At 9 weeks, I had some spotting and was scanned again. This time I saw a ‘tadpole’ with a heartbeat. I was also told normal placenta was present. I finally relaxed and allowed myself to believe I was having a baby. The next 3 weeks were so happy.

UNTIL MY 12 WEEK SCAN! Again, I saw a heartbeat and my baby moving around a lot. Then I was told the baby’s nuchal fold measurement (skin at back of baby’s neck) was double the normal. Baby had a cystic hygroma (collection of fluid) which was highly likely to be due to a chromosomal abnormality, eg. Down’s Syndrome; or a heart defect. Shocked! After the molar pregnancy previously, I couldn’t believe this baby might be seriously disabled/ ill/ life-challenged. Why me? How unfair!

Five days later I was at Manchester Women’s Hospital for CVS/amnio. On scanning, I saw no heartbeat or movements. Baby had died. Later that week I was admitted to my local hospital for medical evacuation. At 13 weeks, I was too far gone for D&C. This miscarriage was more dignified (no bleeding all over A&E floor at midnight with drunks watching), but no less traumatic. I ‘gave birth’ to my tiny baby, the size of my hand, in a bedpan. My husband & I told the nurse that we had seen the baby and she asked, “So are you happy with that?” Stunned, I thought to myself, how can you use the word ‘happy’ when you are holding my dead baby, in a bedpan, in your hands!

Six weeks later at follow-up, my consultant told me I’d had another partial mole. I didn’t think that could be possible after having the scans which showed a live fetus. I received fantastic empathetic counseling during this time from my consultant and midwives.

Yesterday, I sent my 1st of many urines to Sheffield and I cried. I cried for my lost babies and the memory of my experiences. I also cried for the future: knowing the 1 in 6 risk for a 3rd molar pregnancy. Might I not have another baby? People think I should be satisfied with my 3 year old son. I am. He is the light of my life, my angel. That’s why I know I need another.

Thank you for reading my long story. I wish you all the best with yours.

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