Complete Molar

In 2006 I was admitted into hospital with severe abdominal pain and irregular bleeding. After having a laparoscopy I was told nothing wrong, I was then sent for ultra sounds which revealed I had polycystic ovaries.

After many follow up appointments and poor care in hospital, it was then stated from my doctor, ‘you will not be able to conceive’ Realising now, what this doctor had said was wrong, hence me being on this site!

I’ve had a year of worry trying to get the doctors to explain this to me with numerous phone calls and appointments to the hospital I was discharged from, STILL suffering with abdominal pain and irregular periods!

Then two months ago I did a pregnancy test as I was five weeks out. The thin blue line appeared. After not having an explanation from the doctor and believing I couldn’t have kids I immediately thought I had proved everyone wrong!

I felt as if my whole world had changed; for the better. Because of all the previous complications I was sent for a scan, believing I was ten weeks.

The screen was turned away, and after an internal I felt as if my world had ended. I walked out of the hospital with next to no information. All I knew was there was no baby. I felt so gutted.

Every pregnant woman I saw, I resented. Every baby I wished was my own. These feelings are still strong and with it only being four weeks ago since I had my operation, it’s still so hard. Even a short walk through a supermarket seems like a complete marathon, I panic when I’m out and start getting upset if I see women with a growing belly! Being out on my own is the worst.

Now after visiting, Charing Cross Treatment Centre on the 11th July, I feel so much calmer. I still get the odd jealousy pang I suppose. But I’m learning how to handle things. After being put on a dose of anti depressants, I can see much clearer… however no amount of time will ever put right what I’ve lost, but the pain can only get easier.

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